Gaza: Everybody is Mediating, Nothing is Happening.

August 18, 2025 — Guest column by Yossi Alpher

Welcome to the Gaza “peace process,” that never-ending circus where everybody’s a mediator and nobody’s making progress. Egypt, Qatar, Turkey, the U.S. — all ladling soup into a pot that’s already boiling over. And yet, somehow, dinner is never served.

🎭 Another Offensive, Because Why Not?

Israel’s brilliant plan? Another Gaza offensive. Scheduled for October, as if wars now come with calendar reminders. Supposedly this is “leverage” to make Hamas flexible.

Problem: the IDF has spent two years proving it doesn’t understand Hamas at all. Chief of Staff Zamir actually admits as much. He’d rather talk than march, which makes him sound more rational than half the government — a dangerous quality in today’s Israel.

Meanwhile, protesters fill the streets screaming what should be obvious: the war is spent, the hostages are dying, and Israel looks like the villain in a bad historical remake.

🍲 Too Many Cooks, Zero Soup

Let’s count: four mediators, two peace formulas, and still nothing. Why? Because messianic fanatics are running the show on both sides.

Hamas can’t imagine coexistence — their brand depends on permanent war.
Netanyahu’s babysitters, Smotrich and Ben Gvir, dream of biblical conquest and happily write off the hostages.

So Egypt, Qatar, Turkey, and Washington keep setting the mediation table, while the diners throw the food on the floor.

🪖 Draft Dodgers and Desertion

Inside Israel, the war machine is sputtering.

50,000 Haredi draft dodgers still exempt, still untouchable, still praying while others bleed.
Reservists are quitting, after spending hundreds of days away from families and jobs.

But sure, let’s launch another Gaza offensive. Because nothing says “unity” like a war nobody wants to fight.

📍 Lebanon? Syria? No Problem. Gaza? Impossible.

Israel somehow neutralizes Hezbollah in Lebanon. It even finds a modus vivendi with Syria’s Islamist regime. But Gaza? A black hole that swallows every strategy.

Israel has no plan for Gaza.
Palestinians have no functioning leadership for peace.

So we’re left with stopgap gimmicks: Egypt training 5,000 Palestinian policemen, and a West Bank businessman, Samir Hulileh, being auditioned as “Governor of Gaza.” Whether Hamas or Netanyahu ever sign off? Don’t hold your breath.

✈️ Forced Migration, the “New Idea” That’s Older Than Dirt

Here’s the latest brainstorm: move Gazans out. Where? South Sudan, Somalia, Somaliland, Indonesia — basically, wherever desperation can be bribed.

Trump sees beachfront real estate begging for luxury resorts.
Netanyahu’s messianists see divine destiny: Gaza without Arabs.
Egypt sees a demographic nightmare spilling toward Cairo.
Turkey & Qatar see a chance to keep Hamas alive.

Of course, forced transfer is immoral, illegal, and catastrophic. But since when has that stopped anyone?

🗳️ Netanyahu’s Real War: Against Elections

Behind all the noise, here’s the real plot twist: Netanyahu doesn’t want peace or victory. He wants time.

Elections are due within a year.
His coalition is wobbling, especially over the Haredi draft crisis.
Gaza, in his hands, becomes a political delaying tactic. Another offensive? Another negotiation round? Doesn’t matter — as long as it pushes elections further down the road.

🧩 The Gaza Puzzle That Nobody Wants to Solve

So, Gaza is many things, depending on who you ask:

For Hamas: permanent resistance.
For Netanyahu’s allies: the Promised Land minus Arabs.
For Trump: a seaside investment portfolio.
For Egypt: a demographic threat.
For Turkey & Qatar: a Muslim Brotherhood sanctuary.
For ordinary Gazans: just war, starvation, and exile.

Everybody is mediating. Nothing is happening. Because, in truth, nobody actually wants it to.

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